Believe it or not, once upon a time I played the part of Maria in the West Side Story. No, I can't sing (never could). Nor could I act (still can't). So how did I get the part? It was only one scene from the play, and I was in sixth grade. In other words--everyone got parts. There were actually three other Maria's.
They assigned me the scene where Tony serenaded Maria outside her bedroom. The one where he sang her "Tonight." Exciting, fun and romantic, right? Not so. The boy assigned to play opposite me was the last person I wanted to be in a romantic scene with. Not because I thought I was better than him or anything (I was at the bottom of the social chain at the time). It's because he gave me the creeps. The kind of creeps where you hope he never looks your way and avoid eye contact at all costs. Hard to do when you're supposed to be portraying a love-sick girl.
You may think me terrible for having such thoughts, but that same boy later ended up in jail for attempted robbery. He walked into a bank in broad daylight, dressed in all black, and ran out with a sack of cash and a slew of policemen in pursuit. I think he borrowed his brilliant plan from some old western, where a stunt like may have actually worked. At least in the movies.
And I really have no idea why I'm telling you all this, except to explain to you why I still don't sing, still don't act, why I have never robbed a bank, and why I do not like the West Side Story--or any tragedies for that matter.