Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Why do I do this again???

I love writing. I do. It's an escape, an out from the reality of raising four kids.

But these books take time to write. Oh so much time. And the compensation is pretty paltry--at best. I definitely don't write for the money--at least not right now. :) So why do I do it?

It's not because I love having conversations with fictional characters in my head. And it's definitely not because I like revising. And revising. And revising. (So not joking.)

But finding the time to achieve this goal seems to be getting harder and harder. My family sacrifices for it. I sacrifice for it. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth that sacrifice. If maybe I'm putting my own wants ahead of my family. Maybe my books really aren't making a difference.

Because that's what it has to be for me. Every day I pray that something I write will somehow make a positive impact in this world. It's my reason for keeping at this writing thing even through my house gets neglected, my dinners are un-gourmet, and my kids have a scatter-brain for a mother.

I so badly want there to be more good, uplifting books out there. For me, for my kids, for everyone. This world needs more light, and I want to contribute to that--even if it's only 5 watts worth. I'm a firm believer that everyone has been given talents for a reason, that those talents should be used and improved upon in a good way. This is my lifeline.

But when my precarious balancing act tips and falls flat, I can't help wondering: Is it really worth it?

If you're a writer, what keeps you going? If you love to read, what do you love most about books?

8 comments:

  1. I can only say this from the reading part. It takes me out of my safe world here from this tiny island of mine to a world out there, it also makes me understand family, history, art, geography, and brings so much closer to me - basically an all round education. On top of itall, it makes mehappy.

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  2. Sometimes when I start a new project, part of me knows how much is going to go into it, and I'm exhausted by the process, but as soon as I start thinking about my characters, I have to keep going.

    So, I guess for me, it's the characters, their stories, and the way that they take me out of life for a while :D

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  3. Rachael, how can I keep this short? First of all I love to write, but it's hard work too, so that isn't what really keeps me going.

    The second reason--and I think I've told you this before--is that I feel like it's part of my personal mission. Clean romance is hard to find--I found that out when I started writing one. I know teens and young adults who read a book a day--mostly romance. They need examples of virtue because they don't get it from TV or school.

    I am the slowest writer ever because my life is crazy with six kids and a really busy husband. Sometimes (this week)I've been a little unbalanced. My favorite analogy for writing is the story of the tortoise and the hare--slow and steady wins the race. I just have to be consistent and not worry about how much more other writers are accomplishing.

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  4. Well, I for one, love your books. You must keep writing. :)

    I review for the website The Literate Mother. Why do I do it? For lots of the reasons you write. I want people to be able to make informed decisions about what they and their kids are reading. I want to make a difference. Save some adult or child out there from reading things in a book that may be inappropriate, inspire them to read a good book... But, when people make comments that bash what we do or when I'm reading a book filled with shmut (yes, I used that "probably not a word" word.) sometimes I wonder if what I am doing is worth it. It takes a lot of time to review a book for content and then write out those reviews. Depending on the book, sometimes it leaves me feeling not so good and then I have to work hard at getting my own light back. Is it worth it? I hope so.

    My escape after reading a not so great book is to pick up a book like yours that I know will be clean and leave me feeling good. It replaces the bad with something good. It reminds me of why I love to read. The world needs your talents. Thank you for writing. :)

    The End.

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  5. You guys rock! Thanks so much for the reminders and for the info!

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  6. You know I ask myself this ALL the time. It's hard to find that balance and sometimes I wonder, what would be so bad about JUST being a Mom and a wife and not a writer too. Keep your chin up. Know that it's okay to slow down a little when family requires it and to pick up the pace when family life is a little easier.
    We all love your books and know they are contributing light to the world.

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  7. I feel the exact same way about talents. Really strongly, actually. And I was having a mini-meltdown over this whole situation not too long ago, but ultimately, I feel strongly that I wouldn't go around never singing if I had an amazing voice, so I guess I won't let my writing go quiet either. Even though sometimes it's really, really hard. And I hate revising. So much.

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  8. Rach, this was a beautiful post and actually made me get teary. I’m not sure if it was the post, or the cool weather outside or if I’m just hormonal. I, too, love your books and appreciate the talent that you have. Keep writing. Develop and share that talent as much as you can. I sure love you.

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